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Sunday, November 24, 2013

The return



Returning to this world with no memory of who I am has been a very rough existence. I incarnated in 1965 in a small town in New Jersey. I ended up in Pennsylvania where I went to school to learn about this place. It wasn’t until my late teens and early 20s that I realized I was not like everybody else I could sense things feel things and I just knew things. I kept all that stuff to myself because nobody else seemed to be talking about anything like that. For most of my life I just felt like I did not belong here like there was no place for me and I didn’t understand why I felt that way. I really started disliking everything about this place how greedy everybody was how all they cared about was what is in it for me. All everybody cared about was money. It was like watching everybody play this weird game and wondered why they were pretending to be these people. I couldn’t understand why they would hurt each other and I didn’t understand the way they treated each other they would say one thing to the person but I can tell what they were really thinking about this person and I wondered why they were lying to each other why were they pretending to care about something someone else wanted when they really did not. I couldn’t understand all the conflict in this place when there doesn’t need to be.

I walked among you for a very long time and pretended to be one of you finally I had had enough and I walked away. I wanted to know some answers like who am I why am I here why do I feel the way I do I feel like I am the only one that sees this the only one that is awake everybody else seems to be in this dream state. So I began my quest to find truth. I started trying to understand my life and why it was the way it was and why was I the way I was. I spent a lot of time looking over everything in my life from my family to all of my experiences trying to see if there was something deeper in all of those things more than I was aware of at the time. I read a lot of books, books that I felt drawn to and they really helped me gain an understanding of my life and what the universe has been trying to get me to see.

It wasn’t until the late 90s when things started to make sense. I learned about meditation and going within that’s when I started to be flooded with memories and feelings of who I might be and why I was here. At first it was depressing when I saw that I was going in circles and not really getting anywhere. But because of who I am it made things easier to see and understand. I spent a lot of time out in nature admiring the beauty and talking to the universe. I opened up to everything and started remembering things and the more I remembered the more I did not like this place, or what it has become and what you do to each other. How your focused on money first and everything else takes a second seat. You say you love someone but you don’t really know what love is. Your living from a limited view of things because you only know of your 5 senses And your running around in circles and you have no idea what you are doing. Your asleep and don’t know it.

I have been watching you and I do not understand why you keep repeating the same thing over and over again, I know you are more aware now than in the past, this is the time of conscious evolution. And you keep looking out in the world for what you seek when you don’t even know what you truly are seeking, and you will never find it out there but you keep looking because it is all you know. It is what your family and friends and teachers taught you. but because of the times that you are in I know you feel there is something more but you do not know where to look. What you are truly looking for is a love lost and forgotten you created this world of illusion and separation and have been trying to find love since you have been here. And the things that you say you love have conditions attached to them you do not know what unconditional love is. If you truly love someone unconditionally nothing they do will change that you will not get mad you will not get upset you will only show them the unconditional love that you have if you do anything other than that you do not know what unconditional love really is. I put this to the test, I wanted to prove that no one knew what unconditional love was, I was at a family gathering when they started talking about going on vacation and I was asked if I would watch the dog and all it took was one word that changed everything. I said no and instantly everybody turned against me started screaming crying my father told me I needed to find another place to live and I had my proof that you do not know what unconditional love is. It is only love to you as long as the conditions you hold are met if not there is no love there.  Now I know what you’re thinking, But I love my family, husband, wife, kids. It is not the pure love that you are created from it is the best you could create here in the physical world, But like everything else it grows and fades and disappears, you just say that your love has grown or you fell out of it. If you felt the love you were created from you would only seek to be in that love and nothing else would compare
You must remember that you are only existing in your external reality and following your external senses.
Nothing that you see isn’t really there everything is just energy and it is vibrating at a rate so that you can experience it as if it was there which is why you can’t walk through walls even though they’re not really there. Your living in the world of illusion created entirely by you it is your own little world and your belief in it that gives you the experiences that you have. So if you don’t like the world that you see change it.

If you would take time out of your day and learn to meditate and center yourself quiet your mind you would find that spark of light with in you that holds the key to who you truly are and you would see a whole new world. If you truly look at your life and all the things that you have experienced and all the emotions that went along with those experiences you would see that all those emotions came and went. They are all temporary just like you but because you keep living in the past you make all those emotions seem real and everlasting. But remember the past does not exist neither does the future the only thing that exists is this moment right here right now and in this moment is the only place that you can truly see understand and change. You don’t even know what everything you see really is, to give you an example: if you look around the room you’re sitting in, look at all of the individual pieces of furniture and ask yourself how do I know that that is a table or a chair or a couch? The answer is you only know what anything is because someone else told you that’s what it was, so you have learned through millions of years what things were based on someone else’s perspective and belief. So you have no idea what anything is you have been living based on someone else’s perception of life and what things are. The course in miracles explains this very well.

Stop what you’re doing right now and look at your life are you truly happy with the way it is the way things are going are you where you thought you would be, doing what you thought you would be doing? Probably not. Are you following your heart your passion? You are here for a purpose and if you are not following your heart and your passion and love fully what you do then you are not doing what you came here to do it is time to stop re examine your life and find those things that you truly were passionate about that you truly wanted to do in your heart and follow it.

There is nothing more important than following your heart and passion, that thing you were born to do. Everything you need will be provided to you as long as you are true to yourself and following the guidance that is helping you. Doors will open and opportunities will present themselves and you will receive more than you ever thought possible.

Take that leap of faith and know you will be fine and all you need will be provided.

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