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Understanding You
Understanding you
The first step in finding out who you are, and why you’re
here, starts with you truly understanding yourself, and how you got where you
are now. I will guide you through this entire process so it won’t seem too
overwhelming.
To find your true self and your true purpose in this
life you must understand how you got To where you are now and why you are the way you are. Where it all came from
and where is it Going. This is the starting point, be
ready to rip open your life and see what’s going on and why it is the way it is.
You must go back to the beginning of the book and re
read it and understand all the characters And what roles
they played in getting you where you are right now. You
will see that there is no other place you could be but
where you are right now.
Let’s start with your parents, and how were they to you, How did they communicate to you, what were Their outlooks on life, what did they believe, what were
their dreams Etc. I strongly recommend starting a journal
now, it will make life that much easier, and you can look
back at what you have written so far if something forgotten
is triggered, plus writing is a form of release.
Start by making a list for each parent, One for your
mother and one for your father, If you didn’t Have your
birth parents or you lost one or both, use the people that
were around you the most That helped raise you.
Start
the first list with you mother, Or mother figure.
Example:
My mother was a loving giving parent, she would give
until it hurt.
She
was always picking and probing me for answers, what did
you do today, are you going to do… are you going to just
sit there? She was an Interrogator always questioning everything
I did, and if it didn’t fit in her world view she would
dismiss it saying it was nonsense, wake up to reality.
She would crush my dreams by saying they were bullshit,
just fantasy, you just need to get a damn job like everyone
else and pay your bills like everyone else.
She
was perfect to others, she would comment after they were
gone.
She
believed in hard work, no matter what it was as long as it
paid the bills, you should be thankful you have it. She always
wanted to win the lottery so she could pay off all her
debt and live comfortably, even though she didn’t believe
she could win.
As for me, she just wanted me to find a good
job and pay my
bills.
Ok
let’s get started.
Write
mother at the top
Then
write the questions like this:
1. What kind of person was she?
2. How did she communicate to me?
3. How did she treat me?
4. How did she treat others?
5. What were her beliefs?
6. What were her goals in life?
7. What were her dreams?
8.
What were her dreams for you?
After
you complete the list start answering the questions, Don’t
worry about getting it right the first
time, Once you complete the questions go back and re read
the answers again to make sure you
didn’t leave anything
out,. A lot of the time that is when things forgotten
pop up, If they do, Go back and add or modify your
answer. Trust me things will pop up. I can’t stress how
important a journal is to this, I know for me, when I started
looking at my family, I thought I knew all of it, then while
reading what I wrote, things I had forgotten long ago would
pop up and change things. So start a journal or you will
go in circles because you think you have it all.
When
you finish with your mother, start the list for your father.
Example:
My father was a stern man, things had to be perfect
in his mind or he would raise hell.
He
was an aggressive hostile and threatening person to me.
He
was an Intimidator.
Using
threats of violence and an in your face shouter he would
instill fear in me and I would cower.
He
was the poster boy when it came to catering to guests. He
believed in hard honest work, he went to church a lot. As
far as goals, he never talked about them, at least not to me,
so all I know is he wanted to make and save money for retirement.
Same goes for his dreams.
I
think he wanted me to do better than he did.
Ok
let’s start you father.
1. What kind of person was he?
2. How did he communicate to me?
3. How did he treat me?
4. How did he treat others?
5. What were his beliefs?
6. What were his goals in life?
7. What were his dreams?
8.
What were his dreams for you?
Once
you’re finished with both lists there are things to look
for,
there are four control dramas I
mentioned
each of my parent’s dramas.
People
use these to force your attention on them thus
draining
your energy.
1.
Intimidator: these are the worst; they use threats and anger
directed at you, Always yelling at you. This forces you to look at them and
focus your attention on them thus sending all your energy their way.
2. Interrogator: These use constant ridicule and always
question you on everything you’re doing or plan to do. Always in
your face belittling you mocking your dreams.
3. Aloof: These hide and avoid, forcing you to focus your
attention on them and try to find out
what’s wrong.
4. Poor me: These feel like nobody appreciates what they do
they are just here for everyone else, they
don’t
matter they are unimportant.
Now
once you identify which one each of your parents were,
you will find which one you became
based on how they were to you and how you responded
to them.
My
father was an intimidator and my mother was an interrogator
that made me aloof, always avoiding both of them,
I would hide in my room waiting to be summoned upstairs.
They made me aloof and afraid to stand up for myself.
Now
throughout our lives we will use all of them depending
on circumstances but there will be Your
main one that you are. For me, I was aloof, but when I
turned seventeen I turned into an intimidator and threatened
my father’s life if he ever touched me again.
Ending
that.
Once
you discover your control drama acknowledge it by saying
it out loud.
I
was aloof so I said it out loud, I am aloof!
This
is an instant shift you will feel, when I did it all of a sudden
I just began talking, words just flowing out, I was amazed
I was always quiet, never talking to anyone unless they
were talking to me and I was short with my answers, but
there I was a chatterbox.
This
was one of the first shifts in my awareness, after discovering
and announcing I was aloof to the universe I had
a shift, besides starting to talk, I could now identify everybody
else’s drama, it was cool looking at people interacting
and knowing exactly what they are doing.
I
know you will experience something similar.
It
really was an instant shift that changed how I looked at everything.
Ok now that you know your drama and had
the shift, let’s move on.
Remember
at the beginning I told you your life was like a novel.
Now
it’s time to go back to the beginning and re read it and understand
all the characters and the roles they played in getting
you to where you are.
Now
the universe has always been trying to point you in a certain
direction. Through looking back at your life you will
see the subtle hints that were there to guide you.
This
process will take the longest because so much has happened
in our lives you don’t remember everything.
(that’s why the journal is handy and
important)
Don’t
worry it took me three times doing this, just when I thought
I had everything something else popped up that I had
forgotten, and I had to add it in my journal and read it again.
What
you do is go back as far as you can remember to any major
events in your life starting with childhood.
There
are events throughout our lives that cause us to change
focus and direction. Now not everything in your life needs to be noted, only the major things that
made you change
directions.
These
are the events you are looking for, let’s say you wanted
to be a doctor when you were a kid, then all of a sudden
you wanted to be a police officer, what happened that
made you change your focus?
I
would give you an example, but I am not like everybody else,
my whole life has been about pretending to be someone
else, knowing it wasn’t me, everything about my life
was trying to get me to look within to find who I am not
without. It started when I was nine or ten, I don’t remember
exactly because time and date are not important to
me, never have been.
Anyway,
I am not here for the same things you are,
but the universe
was trying to get me to look within and not without
so I could truly see correctly.
Look
at all the times in your life where you changed direction
and understand why you changed.
these
are the things that the universe is using to try to get you
to a certain place.
Carefully
looking at these events and understanding what they
were trying to get you to see takes looking at them in the
third person perspective, like you’re watching it happen to
someone else, it makes it easier to see what direction to go
when you detach yourself from it and watch it like it
is
someone else’s life.
Again
I recommend using a journal if you don’t already have
one.
Writing
these things down will help you to reflect on them to see if anything else
comes up related to them, it is also a form of release.
Go
through your life from childhood to the present writing things
down as they come back to You, just look at the major events that had an impact on you and
made you change
direction.
I
can’t stress enough how important it is to be totally open and
honest with yourself, it is harder than you think. Like I said,
for me everything in my life was to show me that I wasn’t
looking in the right place, always pretending to be someone
that I knew I wasn’t, because I didn’t know who
I was so I took on the persona of what job I had at the time.
My childhood was just constantly reinventing myself as
someone I thought I might be.
Funny
but I spent my whole life pretending to be someone on
the outside, when I knew on the inside that it wasn’t me.
Then
after all this I knew who I was on the inside but hid it from
the outside.
When you have finished, go through and read it and see
if a forgotten memory pops up.
This happens a lot because we block out
certain events in our
lives whether it was traumatic or not.
We
also remember them from our own perspective, that is why
I recommend stepping back and looking at them from a
third person perspective, this helps with traumatic events also.
Once
you have it finished you will see how you got where you
are now and that there was nowhere else you could be.
And
if you look at how you got here you can see the direction
you are being pointed in, and you have an idea of where
you are heading and where to focus your energy.
Let’s
call it a glimpse of the future.
Now
you know where to focus your energy and attention, you
can do whatever you want for a Job for now, just keeping
your focus on where you are headed and be aware of
the signs that are there to guide you. For me it was keeping
my focus inside while I worked outside.
Through this process you will also learn why you respond
and react the way you do in certain circumstances.
It
is a learned behavior based on how you were raised and what
you learned
from your family and friends. Like me, because of my
intimidator father I became an intimidator any time someone
got in my way or challenged me.
Like
I said earlier, you must be totally honest with yourself and
be willing to look at every aspect of your life no matter what
it is or what happened, this includes your thoughts and
feelings on each situation and event. I know I felt invincible
when I would become the intimidator when I felt
I needed to. It was a rush of adrenaline, and because of who
I was (even though I didn’t know at the time) people around
me could feel the energy and would stay
away.
This
whole process will be as hard or easy as you want it to be,
it all depends on you and how open and honest you can be
with yourself no matter what.
(Believe
it or not, you are the hardest person to be honest with, there are feelings
thoughts and emotions that you have denied throughout your life, time to open
the box.) Example:
who hasn’t had that moment where you wanted to kill someone for doing something
to you that really pissed you off, of course you didn’t kill them but you
thought about it, these are the things you need to look at and be honest with
yourself about them and the emotions you were feeling at the time, and where they
came from.
Now
I will explain about me not being like everyone else.
It
doesn’t make me special, although some people think so. Anyway you are in a
lifecycle, here learning things, working off your karma, trying to move forward
on your journey and fulfill the path you set out for yourself before you
incarnated. You have done this more times than you know. Me I am done with the
lifecycles, I am finished learning on this plane, I chose to come back as the
ascended master I have become and bring great change to this plane, teaching
guiding and raising the consciousness of all to bring the two worlds together
as one.
(short
version)
By
now you should have an idea of where your heading and how you got here, and
have an idea where your heading, now you keep your focus on where your headed
and stay present in the moment so you will see all the signs pointing you in
the right direction.
Staying
in the moment is very important, it keeps you centered and aware of what is
really going on. Now to stay in the moment I want you to practice always being
aware of where you are what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling, doing this
all day every day helps you understand your though processes, being here now
this moment you can identify each thought that comes to you as either from the
past or the future, these are the ego’s responses to every moment, it tries to
place everything in a familiar box with a similar event, to keep you living in
the past moments or fantasies of the future, it doesn’t want you to be present
in this moment because it has no power over you when you let go of the past and
the future, that is where it exists, in the world of illusion with you. So the
more time you spend present in this moment the more you will become aware of
what is real and not.
So
remember always be aware of where you are, what you’re thinking and what you’re
feeling, doing this as much as possible will keep you in this moment longer and
longer.
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