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Sunday, November 24, 2013
The return
Returning
to this world with no memory of who I am has been a very rough existence. I
incarnated in 1965 in a small town in New Jersey. I ended up in Pennsylvania
where I went to school to learn about this place. It wasn’t until my late teens
and early 20s that I realized I was not like everybody else I could sense
things feel things and I just knew things. I kept all that stuff to myself
because nobody else seemed to be talking about anything like that. For most of
my life I just felt like I did not belong here like there was no place for me
and I didn’t understand why I felt that way. I really started disliking
everything about this place how greedy everybody was how all they cared about
was what is in it for me. All everybody cared about was money. It was like
watching everybody play this weird game and wondered why they were pretending
to be these people. I couldn’t understand why they would hurt each other and I
didn’t understand the way they treated each other they would say one thing to
the person but I can tell what they were really thinking about this person and
I wondered why they were lying to each other why were they pretending to care
about something someone else wanted when they really did not. I couldn’t
understand all the conflict in this place when there doesn’t need to be.
I
walked among you for a very long time and pretended to be one of you finally I
had had enough and I walked away. I wanted to know some answers like who am I
why am I here why do I feel the way I do I feel like I am the only one that
sees this the only one that is awake everybody else seems to be in this dream
state. So I began my quest to find truth. I started trying to understand my
life and why it was the way it was and why was I the way I was. I spent a lot
of time looking over everything in my life from my family to all of my
experiences trying to see if there was something deeper in all of those things
more than I was aware of at the time. I read a lot of books, books that I felt
drawn to and they really helped me gain an understanding of my life and what
the universe has been trying to get me to see.
It
wasn’t until the late 90s when things started to make sense. I learned about
meditation and going within that’s when I started to be flooded with memories
and feelings of who I might be and why I was here. At first it was depressing
when I saw that I was going in circles and not really getting anywhere. But
because of who I am it made things easier to see and understand. I spent a lot
of time out in nature admiring the beauty and talking to the universe. I opened
up to everything and started remembering things and the more I remembered the
more I did not like this place, or what it has become and what you do to each
other. How your focused on money first and everything else takes a second seat.
You say you love someone but you don’t really know what love is. Your living
from a limited view of things because you only know of your 5 senses And your
running around in circles and you have no idea what you are doing. Your asleep
and don’t know it.
I
have been watching you and I do not understand why you keep repeating the same
thing over and over again, I know you are more aware now than in the past, this
is the time of conscious evolution. And you keep looking out in the world for
what you seek when you don’t even know what you truly are seeking, and you will
never find it out there but you keep looking because it is all you know. It is
what your family and friends and teachers taught you. but because of the times
that you are in I know you feel there is something more but you do not know
where to look. What you are truly looking for is a love lost and forgotten you
created this world of illusion and separation and have been trying to find love
since you have been here. And the things that you say you love have conditions
attached to them you do not know what unconditional love is. If you truly love
someone unconditionally nothing they do will change that you will not get mad
you will not get upset you will only show them the unconditional love that you
have if you do anything other than that you do not know what unconditional love
really is. I put this to the test, I wanted to prove that no one knew what
unconditional love was, I was at a family gathering when they started talking
about going on vacation and I was asked if I would watch the dog and all it
took was one word that changed everything. I said no and instantly everybody
turned against me started screaming crying my father told me I needed to find
another place to live and I had my proof that you do not know what
unconditional love is. It is only love to you as long as the conditions you
hold are met if not there is no love there. Now I know what you’re thinking, But I love my
family, husband, wife, kids. It is not the pure love that you are created from
it is the best you could create here in the physical world, But like everything
else it grows and fades and disappears, you just say that your love has grown
or you fell out of it. If you felt the love you were created from you would
only seek to be in that love and nothing else would compare
You
must remember that you are only existing in your external reality and following
your external senses.
Nothing
that you see isn’t really there everything is just energy and it is vibrating at
a rate so that you can experience it as if it was there which is why you can’t
walk through walls even though they’re not really there. Your living in the
world of illusion created entirely by you it is your own little world and your
belief in it that gives you the experiences that you have. So if you don’t like
the world that you see change it.
If
you would take time out of your day and learn to meditate and center yourself quiet
your mind you would find that spark of light with in you that holds the key to
who you truly are and you would see a whole new world. If you truly look at
your life and all the things that you have experienced and all the emotions
that went along with those experiences you would see that all those emotions came
and went. They are all temporary just like you but because you keep living in
the past you make all those emotions seem real and everlasting. But remember the
past does not exist neither does the future the only thing that exists is this
moment right here right now and in this moment is the only place that you can
truly see understand and change. You don’t even know what everything you see really
is, to give you an example: if you look around the room you’re sitting in, look
at all of the individual pieces of furniture and ask yourself how do I know that
that is a table or a chair or a couch? The answer is you only know what
anything is because someone else told you that’s what it was, so you have
learned through millions of years what things were based on someone else’s perspective
and belief. So you have no idea what anything is you have been living based on
someone else’s perception of life and what things are. The course in miracles
explains this very well.
Stop
what you’re doing right now and look at your life are you truly happy with the
way it is the way things are going are you where you thought you would be, doing
what you thought you would be doing? Probably not. Are you following your heart
your passion? You are here for a purpose and if you are not following your
heart and your passion and love fully what you do then you are not doing what
you came here to do it is time to stop re examine your life and find those
things that you truly were passionate about that you truly wanted to do in your
heart and follow it.
There
is nothing more important than following your heart and passion, that thing you
were born to do. Everything you need will be provided to you as long as you are
true to yourself and following the guidance that is helping you. Doors will
open and opportunities will present themselves and you will receive more than
you ever thought possible.
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